The future is wide open: telling your story, empower your life
- kathy pettet
- Mar 13
- 3 min read
If someone asked you to share your life story what would you say? How would you construct the events of your life? Would you highlight the negative events that shaped your journey, or the positive events that shaped your journey? Would you cast yourself as the victor or the victim, the one who conquered obstacles, or the one who blamed the obstacle?
The narration of our stories is rich with moments of pain, heightened emotions, loads of adventure, and many shades in between.
Talking about our stories, or even writing your story on paper, and reading it aloud, will help you to direct your life, as well as reconcile with any past events that are still waging war with you today.
Many of our stories are also a continuation of outdated programming, that includes beliefs about ourself that is based on perceptions held by others. For instance, if you were told you should try harder as a kid, then you may find yourself saying to yourself, the reason things don't work out for me is that I don't try hard enough. The patterns of thoughts and feelings in the present tense are often based on past beliefs, and unless we examine these beliefs, we run the risk of repeating negative programs.
Writing your story allows you to hear, see, and feel how you are still connected to what you have chosen to believe, or were trained into believing that create limitations in the here and now.
Here are some ways to help you unravel your life and write your story
What are some of your earliest memories of feeling loved and connected?
Do you have siblings, if so, what role did they play in your development?
What kind of work did your parents do, and did they enjoy their jobs?
Did the family move frequently? Were connections made at school and community? Was your family involved in social action, religion, nature, sports?
What were the primary things that were valued n the family? (money, time together, work, status, struggle, parties, picnics, vacations?)
What is your earliest memory of a school situation in which you felt rejected, lonely or unsure? And your earliest memory of making friends, feeling happy or important?
What sort of tragedies did your family encounter? Loss of loved ones, pets, house fire, car accidents, work related accidents, illnesses?
What gifts did your family celebrate? (material, nature-based, personal talents, etc)
What types of conflicts did you observe in your immediate and extended family? What did people complain about? (feeling left out, comparing wealth, competition, power struggles, )
What did you observe about your parents relationship with each other? (close, distanced, warm, conflictual, accepting, angry, happy, loving) How has these patterns affected your relationships?
What is your earliest memory of feeling that you disappointed, or upset your family (not getting good grades, not winning a race, arguing with a sibling, failing some expectation).
When was the first time that you didn't feel supported within the family (not loved), and what was the situation that created this feeling. How much does this bother you now?
What were habits around food, nutrition, body image, weight management like?
Did the family eat together?
What entertainment did the family values (playing games, watching movies, socializing,
Did you observe your parents going out on dates, staying connected through conversation, affection, or taking trips together?
What attitudes did your family have about travel, education, family history (open to explore, closed off, neutral)
What conversations do you recall about death and dying, and how was loss dealt with (open, not talked about, ignored, dismissed, embraced and celebrated)
Are or did your parents live a fulfilled life? Did they do what they set out to do? Did they cast dreams and desires and reach them?
How was or is aging dealt with? ( stay fit and healthy, assume decline, embrace new learning and education, hobbies and interests )
These are just a few questions to assess while writing your life story. Who are you based on the past, can you alter your perceptions and clear your distortions of who you think you are, versus who you want to be, and how much of your present life is embedded in an outdated story. Write with your heart and soul and know that in your journey you can choose a different model, or keep the healthy values of the old model.
Becoming aware of how influenced we are by what we observed, were told, and reacted to may construct who we think we are, but we are so much more than these narrow stories, even though they may be filled with generous love and support.
Happy writing!
Kathy
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